What happened when I asked for a dog...
Me: Mom, can we get a dog? Pleaseeeeee. I promise I’ll take care of it.
*1 month later*
Me: So...mom, what do you think about dogs? They’re pretty adorable right?
Mom: You are not getting a dog. They are too expensive and you aren’t responsible. Maybe when you’re older.
*A few seconds later*
Me: Okay, I’m older now. Can we get a dog? I take care of Goldie just fine, I feed her and look at her everyday. Look! She’s living the dream life.
*Cut to Goldie floating behind me lifeless in her tank.*
Me: Well...she was pretty old, I mean, I got her a whole two months ago!
*2 weeks later*
Me: Here mommy, I made a poster on why we should get a dog. If we adopt one from the shelter we can save its life!
*Mom, whose hair is frazzled and electrocuted from all her children’s requests, collapses into the chair behind Kylie.*
*A single spotlight shines on tiny me with glasses, two high pigtails, pointer, and poster.*
Me in my most dignified tone: You may ponder the prudence of adding another member to this already burgeoning family, but adopting a shelter pet actually teaches young children like me (ahem) the vital principles of responsibility and caring for others...
Mom (confused): So why is it that you’re only getting an A- in English?
Me: Is that a yes?
Mom: Humph. (starts to daydream about a dog who brings her her newspaper and slippers in the morning)
*1 week later*
*We walk into the shelter and we see one cage with light springing out of it like the sun.*
Me: He’s the one!
Mom: Well, he does look like he knows how to make me coffee.
*The next morning*
*We see the new dog bringing coffee and slippers to the mom in the morning.*
Mom has her feet up as she is having breakfast in bed: I can’t believe we didn’t do this earlier! When you go to college, please don’t take Humphrey away…
*I roll my eyes and trudge away, sadly neglected.*